Sunday, January 27, 2008

This part of my life...

Jan 2007


Its 5am.The alarm rings...tough luck. Cant help wanting to do justice to lingering sleep. Snooze continues.
I have to get up though. It’s a long day ahead. Well, that can be an understatement. These days, it’s just like that.
It’s not a chilly winter this year. Weather looks just fine for Mid-Jan period. I like winter the best. If it was to have a colour, it would be white with brownish red sprinkled all along. In my mind, it’s the colour of snow. And the colour of maple leaves during the Fall. Very British. I love the thought.
But reality is such a spoilsport, I feel.
With a hot steaming tea, I start reading 'On the folly of rewarding A while hoping for B'.I have a Mulla class quiz tomorrow, evidently so. Hmm. It was a good read. An Insightful one.

Got to get ready fast, have to catch up 6.40 am train.got a seat.I hide behind the pink paper. India story is on a roll. PM looks positive. FM is happy about buoyancy. RBI Governor can’t agree more. I understand why they call it macro-economics. At micro-level, as an individual, it doesn’t seem to matter much. I am more worried about my project submission than Indian economy being in pink health.
It’s 7.45am.I am at the institute gate. The welcoming warmth of very green stretched- out branches forming a cute roof-like picture is not lost on me. I look up and smile.
We have an MR class today. Prof has not arrived yet. Expected.It’s a submission day. Last moment print out scene is on. I so much don’t like it. I frantically look for my group members. Half of them are missing. So much for punctuality, I feel. I run around. Call up a friend. Fortunately, the guy with final printouts arrives jus before Prof enters. I calm down. It's 8.30am
He likes the work, suggests some minor improvements.
Shitt. Why didn’t we do that I wonder. I discuss this issue during break while I gulp down sambar-soaked idli. One of my friend tells me not to ponder over it. ‘this is the problem with Type-A personality coupled with Internal Locus of Control’.
I tell her to speak English.…
Rest of the time in the class flies away.He says, ‘ everything in nature,ultimately gets defined by a bell-shaped curve’. Interesting. I leave it at that.
it's 11.30am. I decide to miss Growel. Hetal is happy, Vinnie is not.
There are so many things to be done.
Marketing weekly case analysis submission.Starbucks.
We get done with that. I am happy F.W.Taylor came up with Division of work and labour. it's 2pm.Lunch.Analysis of a Balance sheet using ratios.Companies are complex entities.
I meet a senior.Marketing Major.got placed in Deloitte.she tells me what a gala time shes having.chiiled out.I dont have more than one minute to envy her.5pm.
Mulla Readings.Project Analysis Document to be completed.am wondering when would i get my offer letter for summers.no news from NPIL so far.
am co-ordinating for Friday Forum Meetings in between.
Business Environment Assignment.
Japanese Student calls up.I don't like electronic consultancy.doesnt excite me somehow.
I go to the library. Bounded volumes HBR..have to prepare,writing a paper.borrow a book.I am done with the work. it's almost 7.00pm.

All of us gather in the canteen. people are already there.eating,tp,fun,leg pulling,laughter. i like this time.I forget all my worries,tension.laugh a lot.
me n vinnie catch a train.running.till she gets down at her station, we do mindless talking. absolutely anything under the sun.cudnt care less for all those curious faces listening to our opinionated discussion.I read 'Inheritance of loss'.
I am home. catch up with my folks.outsmarting pranks of big bro.hugging mom.helping aunt with dinner. watchin TV.readin cartoons. singin aloud.dancin around.Doin some serious thinking.doin my studies.my time in a day.
around 10.45pm.i go online.start with project work.Chatting simulatneously.i study for a while.some time later, i go off to sleep.
remember telling a friend, i want to have a break...free time..without deadlines and submissions and projects..just for myself...

Distinctively, this part of my life was called First Year MBA-Last Trim.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Placements...

Following are some of the important observations and outcomes from the about-to-end placement season...




  1. I came to know the exact strength of students and Number of courses run in the college.
  2. Psychometrics was the most favourite subject in PG-HR batch, even when we controlled for Gender, and individual differences :)
  3. There were so many faces on campus whom i didnt know at all..not by look niether by names...oval shaped, disgruntled, confident, round, sparkling, intelligent, extremely pissed at life, thoughtful, careless, worried, and reflecting sooo many emotions at a time...
  4. Due to huge time wastages in a day long process, my acquiantances increased exponentially as a result of variuos discussions with so many diff people to use those idle time slots..
  5. God knows why but there were so many of those known and unknown ones who wished, counselled, supported and prayed for each other ...and the collective reassurance was really soothing for me in down times.
  6. Frankly speaking, I dont know what research says, but i realised Self-belief is a great virtue to have during crisis.
  7. i was seriously contending for the award of 'most continuously Networked Individual' by the altime and highest usage rate of cell phone and internet during this season.
  8. The climate survey of G-Talk status messages acted as the general Mood indicator..ranging from ' wake me up when december ends...till impossible trinity of package,profile and shortlists' :D (people really get creative under pressure,ehh?)
  9. For the first time in my life my mother actually started wondering whose messages i read while having dinner, before sleeping, in early mornings and also late in the night...and why do i run to my laptop at bizzare timings and why am i connected to Gmail in nocturnal hours...thanks to showering of WIMDRs announcing the deadline for CVs at some real inhuam timings...
  10. According to many people accross specialisations, especially marketing , Group Discussion as a selection tool was suspected to have the least possible validity..
  11. After attending some 30 odd corporate PPTs, i realised that India Inc has worked really hard to come out with diverse ways of saying 'we want to be world-class' and 'we care for our employees' which are termed as their distinct vision and mission statements :P
  12. The most frequently asked questions (more or less by the same people) after corporate each presentation were-
  • sir, can you throw some more light upon the mkt/HR/finance profile? (FGS, dont ask the same thing Upteenth time...)

  • what would be the Location for HR? :D ( Miss Hetal M, who else?)

  • can we get to choose the work profile at the end of training program? (Finance students open an account finally)

  • are you considering Laterals? ( is it shankar raman by any chance??)

  • ummm..actually sir, i am a bit confused..I am an HR student, so from that perspective, considering the fact that you will be offering three cross-functional Projects, do i assume that they are the projects wherein i get to play wholistic HR role in a Business project or would they be the projects giving me exposure to different verticals in HR itself spanning whole year, umm..actually..it would be great if you could just clarify that..( the guy is completely stumped, and considering the fact that {only other contender for the ability of longest sentence formation} Anu is not sitting for PPTs, we know without even a single doubt this is noone else than Pearl :)

  • sir, what is the variable component of this compn package? (Invariably from E-biz/MMS students...Money is the great motivator..hehe)

13. atleast 768 times during this season we had following conversation on phone/chat/in- class:
(in the morn)
Hetal: Vot u doin?
Me: nm yaar..bit of IR, HRM concepts and general Reading...Vot u doin?
Hetal: vot yaar...getting bored...jus read upar se...

(In the night)

Hetal: vot u did?
Me: nm re.. general reading, IR, and HRM...Vot u did?
Hetal: shit man..am bored... :D :D :D

Jokes Apart, I might be writing all this stuff right now in a cool mood and several times i chuckled to myself while doing that.. but i will not forget one of the most peaceful feelings i had when i heard that India Inc had created a small space for me..and rather in its one of the very much respected entity...and am full of gratitude for that to all..all of them truely...


i again and again want to believe about conspiracy of nature strongly....









Wednesday, September 19, 2007

A Poem...

'शोध'

तू ओंजळ भरल्या सुवासाचा पारिजातकी स्पर्श...
तू निरागस मनमधील अननुभूत हर्ष....

तू तप्त, त्रस्त जीवासाठी भरल्या मायेचा हात...
कुट्ट काळोखाच्या गर्भातही कधीच न सुटणारी साथ...

तू प्रेमाची पाखर धरणारी त्या आईची कूस...
आणि त्या कुशीत मन मोकळ करणारा माझ्या डोळ्यातील पाऊस....

तू कधी अजिंक्य हृदयातील विजयाचा उन्माद...
आणि कधीतरी काळीज हेलावून टाकणारी आर्त आर्त साद....

तू अंतरंग उलगडून सांगणार्‍या अपार मिठीचा आभास....
जीव उधळून द्यावा अशा उत्तुंग प्रेमाचा अभिध्यास....

तू सर्वस्व हरवून बसलेल्या मीरेच्या मनाचा गाभारा....
कोण्या अनामिक मनःपूर्तीसाठी दूरवर निखळलेला तारा.....

तू विठुरयाच्या सावळया वात्सल्याची परिसीमा....
आणि येशूच्या गाहिर्‍या नजरेतील अथांग गरिमा.....

तू ज्ञान...तू भक्ती....
तू सामर्थ्य....अन् मुक्ती.....

तू माझ्यामधेच सामावलेल्या सृजनाचा ओघ.....
आणि तरीही.....कधीच न संपणारा तुझा अतर्क्य वेडा शोध..!

-- वेदवती जोशी

Friday, July 6, 2007

Goof-Ups!!

All those who are looking forward to another dose of a philosophical anecdote, please return to your respective works..(of course if you have anything worth doing :) for i m in no mood to ponder over so called " the very being" phenomenon and certainly not over "the search within".... I have just returned from a very memorable trip to Marine Drive (wow, how awesome that was!!) and i m in mood of top gear Masti :) so i have this urge to pen down some lighter moments...

I m sure, everybody has his share of Goof-Ups in life; but God seems to be too generous with me in this area, for me to be gifted with too many, too frequent, and too impossible of such moments..i m still amazed by the amusement and discomfiture striking in equal amount on such happenstances....there are few of them really unforgettable...


One of the first memories is obviously from schooldays.in my 5th standard class, being the class monitor, i had the responsibility of supervising the smooth distribution of workbooks to all the students. Accompanied by my two deputies, I went to an isolated and dingy storeroom, sorted out the workbooks and sent the whole lot to the class with the deputies. somehow in the hurry of an lined up essay competition on that day, i never noticed one of the deputies still staying back in the room; engrossed in some sorting work and locked the storeroom with a big fat reliable Godrej lock;key resting in the tiny pocket of my schoolbag to be given in the office. i rushed to the class where the competition was being held, too happy to have a cakewalk kinda subject for extempore writing,and soon got deep into thoughts. it would all have been smooth except for a peon who came interrupting and asking for a class monitor with keys to the storeroom because some students had heard "mysterious and scary screams" from inside the room and the administration wanted to check the details. the locked one was a good friend (atleast before he was locked in) and i had to make an ultra-superlative effort to convince him that it was just a mishap and i was not pulling a fast one on him...afterall spending some 2 hours alone amongst spiderwebs and humongous pile of workbooks in an isolated room for a 5th standard boy is ofcourse not exactly a dream situation!!! (observation - nobody had even noticed his absence for two hours in the class...too much..)


The another one i recall was at one of the Felicitation Ceremony of Merit Rankers. (Note: Felicitation Ceremony of Merit Rankers is defined as "a hilarious annual event conducted by prestigious social institutions in every town where a student has to publicaly declare the exact percentage share of various factors in his success i.e. family, teachers, own efforts etc") on one saturday morning, while i was lazying in the bed thinking about the ceremony to be attended at 7.30 in the evening, i got a call from a friend informing that the ceremony had already started and asking why was i late.Jumping from the bed, i cursed myself for assuming it to be 7.30 in the evening, grabbed a decent looking salwaar-kameez from the wardrobe and almost ran to the venue. (Brahmin Sabha : 5 min from my home) fortunately my prize was still not announced.catching everybody's attention, i made way to where my friend was sitting and hoped now everything would be fine. But God was practising his worst sense of humor on me.


My friend looked aghast, and shrieked, "look at you..what have you done, cant you wear you suit properly?" At second glance i realised, in a hurry i was wearing the suit inside out and it projected a different design altogether (huh!!) on top of this, within moments my prize was announced, i had to go to the dias...shit..that was bad...i braved the chances of not getting laughed at, received the medal shiveringly and also survived through the Kodak moments...continuously i was feeling the eyes of all the people on me and an imaginary wave of mocking laughter ringing in my ears..i had never felt so embarrasing ever in my life...(observation- nobody ever asked me about my suit other than my friend, and only if she were to keep mum, i would have been so much more confident on the dias)


The last one i want to write about is an epic in itself. A very renowned Marathi Poet Sudheer Moghe was in town for a cultural Programme and he was to stay the night at our house. (Marathi readers would know him as a famous poet of 'fite andharache jale' ) we all chatted up in the night,had an excellent session of his poetry reciting and i went off to sleep happily with an experience of meeting one of my fav poets. the next day as usual i got up at four in the morning for studies, and saw the message written "mala 5 la uthav -Dada" ( "Please wake me up at sharp 5.00- ur big bro") when it was the time, i went to my bro's room and in usual cordial manner shaking him to make him get up said " e dholya, uuth na kay ghorat padla ahes ghodyasarkha?" ( "you big fat bully snoring like a horse, get up fast ")


suddenly the person sat up in the bed saying " yes yes..mi mi sudheer...kay zale, kay zale?" ( "oh..yes, yes..i m sudheer, whats wrong there?") as soon as i heard those words, half mumbling my apologies, i ran out and vanished from there and did not even dare show my face to him till he was about to leave. my family members and especially my bro made the fullest use of this event to pull my leg iterating and reiterating it in front of every person visiting my house in next few days then...


There are still so many of them...after some days you feel like laughing your lungs out on these things, but the mortification of the moment...who else would be a better person to ask about it other than the goofer who is writing all these things at this crazy hour in the night ;)

Thursday, June 7, 2007

A Rendezvous much needed...

err...umm..ok let me speak now...

Last Eleven months or so have deprived me of the joy of being able to strike a cord and have a meaningful conversation with my own self. i fail to communicate and therefore explain too what do i mean exactly by having a conversation with myself. it is as vague as it can get. i dunno whether i talk to the mind, the conscience or just the psychological "me" for that matter, or i just try to think to myself, but whatever it may be, you cannot deny the powerful energy which oozes out of the entire process to make you stand firm...and the point is..i have been missing all that...

when i try to dig deeper for finding out the cause behind this phenomenon,i am left muddled and perplexed all the more. if i say, the sheer number of interactions which i have been through in the last year has gone up improportionately which has specifically disturbed the aforesaid conversation, then that would not be a wise arguement, for i am not the kind of person who cannot find solitude in a space and time ridiculously flooded with activities and people.because i believe solitude does not bear any functional relationship with the external world.

True, i have met so many new people and also some of the old ones in the new light bringing radically different perspectives to life..some who were astonishingly bright and quick-witted and others who were completely bizzare to the core in their own way...and surrounded by them, i just missed maself..

Then there were those Moments..potpourie of all sorta emotions..creating the range of extremities in a short passage of time..some of unadulterated elation and some others of silent lamentation, some of teenage anxiety and others of amazement on finding a very queer connect....and again amongst all this, i just missed myself...

but what do all these things have to do with the lack of conversation? nothing and in a sense everything too.

i have taken a shield of all these things to convince myself to postpone the search within because i had started having qualms about the entire conversation itself. and Dude, this is really scary. The hazy feeling that there is so much within me,so unexplored and so much which has not been done justice to... the endless power, the unspoken dreams, the rebellion thoughts waiting to be set free, the passion to work with madness till a burnout,soft emotions and unending endurance,a poet, an artist and a clown too, and above all the eternal will to redeem the self...I fear somehow, if and when i will strike a cord with maself, all these things will surface together and i will feel utter helplessness about not doing anything of so many things; so powerful and lying within me...and that is my deepest fear...

I want to break free..i want to run the distance.. i want to live the dream...
i guess i need to fix an appointment with myself... a rendezvous soon enough,eh??